The magic of effective negotiation

To get what you want isn’t always easy but there are some proved methods how to achieve your goals even when dealing with a person you’re not on friendly terms with. If you stick to a few pieces of good advice, you can reach an agreement or a compromise successfully. A combination of psychology, good guesses, improvisation and communication skills is all that it takes.

You don’t have to be friends with everyone. However, if you ever come across people you have to somehow get along with, like at school or at work, here’s a few tips that can help.

1. Self-confidence

Don’t let yourself be forced into the role of a victim. Stay calm, self-confident and focus on facts. Being confident isn’t only about speaking—stand straight, don’t hide, don’t cringe.

2. Respect

Try to get along even with people you don’t like very much. Solving problems with them will be much easier.

3. Keep calm

Keep calm even in situations when people do you wrong or criticise you as your attitude can influence the opponent you’re facing. Use intonation, gestures and your expression to convey an amicable attitude in order to start making peace or find possible solutions to the problem.

4. Stay factual

Keep the conversation factual, don’t talk about nonsense, don’t be personal or wry. A factual discussion is an effective discussion.

5. Listen

When talking with someone, really think about what the other person says and listen carefully. Otherwise, you mind end up in a conversation where people talk about different things which leads to no solution at all and only makes the debaters angrier.

6. Don’t be a sore loser

Never end a discussion or an argument feeling aggrieved as you might develop an unpleasant tendency to dwell on the topic unnecessarily. Don’t let yourself be cornered—think about counter-arguments and don’t lose your temper.

7. Calm your opponent

Just let your opponent’s anger go through without reacting to it. Don’t say anything, don’t defend your opinion at this point, try to express an agreement. When your opponent finally calms down and is able to think rationally again, now’s the right time to present your counter-arguments.

8. Never lose a good style

Strong personalities don’t need to bow to someone or humiliate others. Control your emotions and stray rational.

9. Set your goal

Before engaging in a conflict, state beforehand what’s the goal you’d like to achieve. Do you want a compromise? Do you want to win? Choosing an ideal communication strategy depends on your goals. In any case, keep calm and stick to the rules you’ve just learnt. Then, all you need is lots of patience.